Still not ashamed

Machine Falls in Tullahoma, Tennessee

Two weeks left

I have been traveling with this team since September 7^th and all we have left together is two weeks. It seems surreal and sad, but there is always something to look forward to and I am SO excited to be seeing my family on the 21^st!

So, where have I been and what have I been doing?

You ask excellent questins.

I have been to Tennessee ( a lot) and to Illinois and North Carolina. Now I am headed to Minnesota and then Wisconsin.

I like cheese.

I wonder if people from Wisconsin get tired of being associated with cheese.

When we were in North Carolina we were actually kind of on break. The team spent four days at a beautiful place called The Barn at Buladean.

While we were there:

I did not have cell service.

I did not have television.

I did not have to teach.

I did not have to dress up.

I did not have to eat breakfast.

I did not have a way to leave unless I wanted to hike.

However:

I did have movies to watch with friends.

I did have lots of good food.

I did play games.

I did sleep in.

I did have a lot of good talks.

I did refill the water jug.

I did try to go hiking (didn’t work so well: getting over bronchitis (maybe) + altitude + sunlight + thorns + starting out on a really steep hill = wimpy blind girl coughing her way back down the mountain ten minutes in. I am not ashamed.)

I did sit around a fire.

I did laugh until I cried (and had to make a mad dash to the 

restroom. Still not ashamed)

I did a lot of thinking.

I did find peace for my restless mind. I had been wrestling with God about how He made me. He made me to be quiet and introverted and bookish and I want to be spunky and vibrant. He made me to be emotional and sensitive and I think I should be strong and independent all the time. He made me to be kinda goofy and I wanted to be elegant…. Do you see the self-contradiction going on here? I wanted to be everything. Short story: I guess I had got caught up in disappointment in how I thought I should be in order to be more loved by everyone. So, I was doing (or trying to be) so many things and I became physically and emotionally drained and, consequently, ineffectual.

God showed me that I was walking in a constant desire for man’s approval. He showed me this is wrong and an insult to Him and how He lovingly created me. So I’m working on seeing the person He made me to be and re-learning to like myself just as me, not as who I think I should be. I feel like I go through this process every couple of years. Is that normal?

Katheryn Trout and me at the Falls. She's such a joy to my life!

I did feel physically refreshed.

Then, we went to Asheville for the HeartCry for Revival conference. If Buladean was physically refreshing, then HeartCry was spiritually refreshing. We were working, (I actually got to use a cash register and all that jazz. It was fun! I’m a nerd…still not ashamed.) 

We were also learning. There were so many good messages that I really can’t remember all of what God showed me, but I have notes so it’s all good. I do remember two big things.

1. PRAY!! We need to be praying. About everything, really.

2. Better to be sleep-deprived than God-deprived. True statement. I didn’t like it. I like to sleep, but God convicted me of laziness and general irresponsibility. It took me a couple of weeks, but last week and so far this week I got up at 7:00 every work day and 8:00 every day off. It helped that I had some projects to work on. Next week is going to be more difficult. Please pray for me! I do like it, though, because I have more energy and I am getting so much done!! = )

(This is the part where I can hear Daddy rolling his I-told-you-so eyes and others saying “congratulations, Anna, you’re an adult. It takes a while, but I’m learning. Still not ashamed…well, maybe a little.) Is God worth all this? Absolutely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, always.

After HeartCry, we had another full summit (15-day) in Tullahoma, TN and now we have a Thirst Conference (4-day) in Prior Lake, Minnesota and then a Thirst in Monroe, Wisconsin.

I’ve met some amazing people and had to leave behind some kids that I really just wanted to take with me. God, through the grace and power of His Spirit, is working in my heart and I am able to see Him working in so many others. I really wish I could remember it all and tell you. Now that I have all this time on my hands ; ) I’ll hopefully post again before we leave in two weeks and I’ll have some of the kids’ testimonies for you to read!

I do remember this: mustard is sneaky. Sometimes, it gets its little rebellious self into a bowl (instead of the traditional bottle) and pretends to be cheese dip right up until you scoop up a ton of it on your favorite kind of chip and pop it in your mouth. 

Shudder. 

Bleh.

Still not ashamed...I just laugh. 

I used to kind of like mustard...

I just cannot get over how restful
and beautiful this place is. God's
creativity is astounding.

Also, good news! I only have $850 dollars left for this year’s ministry fee! God has been so good to provide for me through various sources this year and I know He will do the same for next year. I really dislike asking for financial help (I think it’s a pride issue: working on that) and I know He’ll provide for next year’s fee, too. If you would like to help me with a one-time donation or become a mothly supporter for next year then I would appreciate that so much! Thank you all of you who have already been supporting me. y'all are a blessing to my heart and a constant reminder of God's love for me.

Here’s the link, https://www.lifeaction.org/donate/support-a-staff-member/ or you can send a check to Life Action Ministries with a note saying the amount is to go toward my ministry fee.

I’m going into this next summit with hope and purpose and a lot of anticipation, praise the Lord!! Please pray with me that the people in Minnesota and Wisconsin will be refreshed and that we, as a team, will invest in them with selflessness and joy.

Thank you for sticking with me, I’ll see y’all soon!!

Love much,

Anna