Tourism, Twisty Slides, and Taking a Break

Our host fam took us to Savannah on our off day

The Cathedral and Forsyth Park were my favorite

It's not often you're a tourist in your own town, I thoroughly enjoyed it!!

Well Hello there!

You want to know something hilarious?

Of course you do.

The last church.

Building.

The building was hilarious…

or it thought it was anyway…

And it had it out for me.

As in:

“let’s put this fire alarm right where a light switch should be so when the blind girl is wanting to explore she can embarrass herself dramatically…”

I caught on to the dastardly plan at the last second and so avoided such a scene.

And…

“let’s have all the doors in the children’s wing be flush with the wall and be a part of the really elaborate theme so that when the blind girl is told to go get more chairs out of the other room she says she has and then they tell her no, the other room, and she says that she got them out of all the nearby rooms and then they’ll say that they mean the one next door and she’ll ask if they mean Meredith’s office and then they’ll say that it’s the one between Base Camp and Meredith’s office and then one of them will go out in the hall and point at a wall.

Then they’ll open the wall and she’ll be totally whacked out because she totally didn’t see the handle even though it doesn’t go with the color scheme thing.”

And..

“let’s randomly make the entrance flat and then pull it into a sudden incline that way the blind girl can trip over it every time she walks to the youth area where she’s supposed to eat twice a day.”

Except I only tripped on it once AND I figured out which part of the wall opens AND I found the bathroom (though it was hard to see and the picture made me think I had to walk up steps to open the door when really the door goes all the way to the floor like any normal door) AND I did NOT pull the alarm…even though my finger did start to apply some pressure: thankfully in the wrong direction.

As you can tell, I survived the church and came out the winner! Points for blind kids everywhere!

Despite that church’s all around wily-ness. It had a very big redeeming factor:

An indoor playground…

like the ones you would find at a fast food restaurant…

except ten times better…

and we got to play on it!!!

It has a twisty slide that is EPIC and big enough for an adult and really fun…

Yes, I work with children and I am not ashamed to admit that part of the reason is so I can have a good excuse to still be giddy over a twisty slide = )

Another reason I love working with children is seeing that “light bulb” look in their eyes and hearts as they grow to know God better. We ask the kids to write letters about what they learned in Base Camp and here’s what a few of them said:

Dear God,

Thank you for teaching me to respect my friends and being able to forgive 2 people and for a person to forgive me. I yelled at them for a silly reason and those 2 people yelled at me back and now we are all friends again. I also need to respect my parents and older adults and you’ve helped me to do that.

~Emily

Dear God,

Thank you for teaching me to pray more every day and read my Bible more. I prayed before my science test because I was nervous. Later I found out I made a 100. I’ve learned new things about myself, and more about God. These have been a great 2 weeks. This also helped me deal with things at school, like friends. I hope one day I can also go and do work for the Lord.

~Gabby

Dear God,

Thank you for teaching me obedience when I didn’t want to obey my parents. Also for teaching me to be patient and loving to others, when I let my siblings and parents play with me. Thanks for also teaching me respect, when I had to respect other people. Also for teaching me just to be myself and not want to be another person, for liking myself as you made me.

~Riley

These are just a few examples of what God is using us to do in the hearts of these kids. My prayer is that He will continually use me and my teammates to bring Him glory in this way.

Right now, I am HOME!!

So SO happy!

The team was given a break from November 24^th until January 6^th. It’s one of the longest breaks we’ve ever had and I know it’s needed.

At the same time, though, it’s always hard to get back in the groove once we hit the road again and with a longer break it’s going to be even harder since we’ll have time to really get settled at home. Please pray for us: that we would be intentional with our time at home and that we will continue to seek God’s purpose for each day no matter where we are!

I hope this holiday season has started off well for you all. I know I am enjoying the special decorating, music, food and family times. My goal this Christmas is to have everything centered around the whole reason we are celebrating: Jesus.

I often find myself getting caught up in the hoopla that the world presents as “Christmas”. The gifts and trees and food are all wonderful, but they could never compare to the gift of Christ Himself. Please pray with me that I will not become too comfortable with that knowledge.

May He ever be the beat of my steps and the joy of my heart.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Love,

Anna

Two different kinds of old

Loved this view, though neither my eyes nor my phone camera could capture the pod of dolphins in the distance

Hello from the "warm" state of Florida. Which was so NOT warm last week that we had to turn the heater on. = ) But it's okay, because I absolutely LOVE Fall.

This summit has been one of rest and                   

joy in the children I teach. These kids 

are so easy to love and I do believe I 

will miss them...well, most of them: 

there's always that one kid...

The first day I was playing a game with them and I had mentioned that I had a hard time seeing and I would appreciate it if they would tell me their names whenever I threw the ball. That way I would learn them faster. Every single kid told me, multiple times, and I had all of their names pretty much down pat within three days: that has never happened to me before and I think it really helped me connect with them. I think it helped them know me better too, I've never had so many kids seem so eager to talk to, hug, and tease me. One girl, Kailey (NOT Kaylee, that's the OTHER one. Lol) brought me the sweetest letter on Sunday. She even said she chose some stamps to put on it that made her think of my personality...hearts and flowers?

My host parents this summit have been absolutely wonderful as well. He's a retired Air Force Fighter Pilot and she's the most caring and wonderfully chatty host mom I think I've ever had. I've also had my own room and my own bathroom here and a day doesn't go by that I don't thank God for this place and these people. They are all very open and friendly and polite. The other day I was kinda wishing they weren't quite so polite, though...

See, wha' ha' happen' wuz...I was signing the kids in using two different colored markers to make the sign out process easier. My goal was to keep the same amount of kids on each list and I was doing so well that I asked several kids which color they would prefer: orange or purple.

Like I said, I did this several times for several children. Not a single one of them (or their parents) felt the need to tell me that the "purple" marker was, in fact, brown. It's a small thing, and I laughed when I found out - at the end of the evening - but I really wish people would just tell me. I would not find it rude.

I very rarely become offended over reminders/jokes about my eyesight. What with traveling and meeting so many people, it's actually a blessing because it's a fantastic conversation starter. I feel as though I've grown leaps and bounds in the "talking to strangers" department. Phew: it's still tough some days, but I'm getting there. Kids have always been my comfort zone: it's the adults and teens that get me. 

My very-easy-to-talk-to host parents took Tara (the other team girl staying here) and me to the beach and sight-seeing around Destin and also on a historical tour around Pensacola. Here're some of the pics.

 This is my favorite from the whole two days of sight-seeing. I was just trying to get the pelican and then when I looked at my phone later I saw this sneaky little photo-bomber.

So. Stinkin. Cool.

I think God just likes to make me smile.

 This was while we were walking down by the marina/docks/
whatever you wanna call 'em. I just love the whole atmosphere - especially the play of light and shadow on the water.

This...This I just found to be weird...interesting...but mostly just weird

Dewey Destin Seafood Restaurant and Market: best hole in the wall little place with the best fried shrimp ever!

Me taking a picture of Tara taking a picture out on the dock at Dewey Destin

 The whole time we were at Dewey Destin (eating out at the picnic tables on the dock = so cool and relaxing!) this little guy and his friends were making quite a racket. I turned my head from where I was sitting and he/she was just four feet away: I could see him plain as day. I guess everybody else kinda thought they were a nuisance but I was once again amazed by seeing a bird...free...in nature: things like that make me feel like a little child staring wide-eyed at her first sight of a Christmas tree. Maybe because it's rare for me to be able to pick out as a shadow, much less seeing features, but things like this just dazzle me.

These pictures are from when we went on the historical tour of Pensacola. I love old things probably just as much as I love being surprised by nature.

This beauty here is what they call a "Courting bicycle." I have decided that these would come in handy in Life Action. We could go out on "dates" with our nice (and brave) chaperone sitting on the backseat while in the front seats the two lovebirds pedal off whatever "best meals" the church has served us that week. It would really do well for me because my beau would be the one to steer and I wouldn't have to worry about running over any little old ladies.


 

I really want to ride in a horse drawn carriage now. Maybe I was meant to be Amish?

I also really like the stove. You can't see it, but there's a "warming oven" up above where we would nowadays have a microwave. There was one fellow who had gone through the tour and told the tour guide that his Mama had put him in one of those as a baby because he was born up in Washington in the middle of winter and she couldn't find a better way to keep him warm. Eep!

The house is where I saw the stove and this marvelous piano. I felt as though I had walked into one of Jane Austen's novels or any other book about the upper class of the 1800s. Honestly, I was enchanted.

Last one. I don't remember the name of this church but it was absolutely beautiful. I really can't describe how an old church like this can bring such a quiet joy to my soul. Some are old and musty and some have ridiculously uncomfortable pews; some are bright and simple, like this one, while others are elaborate and full of drafts - but every time I step into an old church it is a sweet reminder to me that God is eternal. 

He Was and Is and Is to Come. He holds my life in His ancient and exceedingly capable hands. His power has not lessened with the passage of our time: it just gives us more opportunity to discover how great His power really is. He is constant and He is beautiful. He is just and He is love. 

I hope God fills you with the truth of that today as He has been doing for me.

See y'all soon!

Love,

Anna

Making Bad Jello

When I was headed home to see my fambly! I was so excited I just had to take a (weird) picture.

Procrastination strikes again! I do apologize (ahem, again) for the delay, folks, but I mostly had good reasons!

When I left Grenada, MS (our first summit) I actually got to go home for a few days to see Will be baptized. Praise the Lord that our second summit was close to home so that I was able to do that! So I didn’t write then because I was home and got to talk to most of you.

Then, when I got to our second summit (in Augusta, GA) I found out that I was sitting through services for the whole summit. So that meant no Base Camp for me (mostly) and I just got to “be a church member.’ I expected God would teach me at least one thing that I could write about, so I pushed off writing unitl the end.

So, here I am. It’s the evening before our first service in Crestview, Fl and I can truly say that yes, God did show me at least one thing…more like one hundred things. He’s good like that, you ask Him to work on you and tell Him you’re open to change, and He’ll definitely take you up on it!

Here’s the biggie for me: - y’all ready for this, are ya sure? Okay- Ahem

I’m very foolish.

You see, I started out the summit with this mindset of “oh, I’m sitting through, so I must have some huge emotional/spiritual experience so that I can be sure I’m listening.” Problem with that was it was totally the wrong way to go about it.

I sat through each service for the first week and tried to apply every single thing I heard to myself. Well, in a sense, that would be good because it would mean that I was open to whatever God wanted to say, but I realized that my heart was in the wrong place. I wanted everything to apply to me so that I could be “so humble” and “so willing to admit my sin” and yada yada yada. I wanted others to see my change and think well of me.

In reality, there were some areas that I didn’t actually need to work on and there were some areas that I did: but it was all between me and God, not between me and people around me with a little bit of God thrown in for good measure.

I was beginning to realize this about myself but I wasn’t quite able to wrap my mind around it when “Salvation Sunday” came along.

Lemme tell you: an entire week of over-the-top introspection and a lot of pride will leave you feeling like you’re trying to balance on jello. I spent the entire Sunday morning service riddled with confusion and frustration. Where was the peace I always felt when I thought about eternity? Why was I feeling so off? Am I not really saved? Am I not His child if I can’t vividly remember the moment I realized I was lost?

I was miserable.

After service, Rebekah saw me and asked how I was and I guess she could see something in my face because she immediately asked if she could pray for me. It’s amazing how God will place someone in your life who can be the help and wisom you need from Him just when you need it.

When I told her what I was feeling, I found out I was not alone. She often had the same trouble when she would sit through services and had to learn how to discern truth from ungodly doubt and confusion. She prayed for me, and she gave me truth and then I cried and then I felt peace.

No longer miserable.

That wasn’t the end, though. I had never felt so shaken in my standing before and I had to wrestle those lies all day and into the next couple of days. I still had peace (most of the time), but it bothered me that I had been so off-balance.

Then I figured out what my jello was made of:

Pride...

Selfishness…

Vanity…

A lot of me, me, me.

On Tuesday that week, I was reading a book called Show Them Jesus that was written to CMs to remind them to weave the gospel into everything. There was an object lesson that the writer had used with some kids that God then used to get my attention.

Imagine you have received your report card and all of the subjects are spiritual traits (kindness, humility, respectfulness, servant’s attitude, etc…) and in every single subject your grades were abysmal. God requires perfection and there are no middle grades. You’re either perfect or you fail. Well, everybody fails, so God takes your report card and replaces your name at the top with Jesus’ and then He takes Jesus’ perfect record and puts your name at the top. You didn’t do anything to make that change happen, God just wanted to do it.

Well, I realized that I really did already have my name on Jesus’ report card, but I had begun to believe the lie that Jesus came along and erased all the faliling grades but I had to try to refill the supposed empty slots with new perfect grades: I can do it! I’m a Christian, so I can be better than I was before!

Not true. Sure, I try to do good things and read my Bible and pray- but not because I have to earn a gift already given. I am not beholden to God in that sense. When I try to earn God’s grace then I’m not really accepting the gift as a gift, and that’s wrong.

So, that’s what God showed me. I’m not sure when exactly I had fallen into that lie of earning grace, but I’m so glad that God showed me truth. I’m still catching myself trying to think that way, but at least now I’m recognizing it so God can continue working in me to change it.

And if I mess up, that’s okay. I’ll just take the hand God is offering and He’ll pull me off the jello and place me back on the Rock. Because He loves me. = )

And He loves you too.

So, what’s your jello made of?

Love,

Anna

Ephesians 2:8-10

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this Is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

Running steady

Yeah, this was pretty much amazingly fun! Got to drive that beauty for at least an hour. Yes, I said drive.

 Well Hello Hello!

I bet y’all thought I’d fallen off the face of the planet or something but, nope, I’m still here.

Unfortunately the wi-fi is conspicuously absent- hence the, ahem, delay.

Last time I posted, the team and I were getting ready to hit the ground running at our first Summit of the travel year. Mind you, I’m not just saying that flippantly: I truly feel like I haven’t had much of a chance to think (much less stop) since we got here. But it’s okay, the first Summit is always the busiest and we’ll soon settle into a good routine.

My tag I wear every night. It's magnetized = "fancy"

“Here” is Emmanuel Baptist Church in Grenada, Mississippi. (Hey, it’s even fun to spell while typing!) It’s a large church, or so it seems to me, and the pastor here has been doing a wonderful job of preparing his flock for these days of renewal. Everyone (except this one grumpy old man that I shook hands with at worship...I hope he is enjoying it more now) has been so receptive and positive about everything God has been doing through the services. Good feedback is always so encouraging for us!

My host mom is one of our biggest supporters. She’s so sweet and has a wonderful heart for prayer that I appreciate so much. She’s also the most active 80 year old I have ever seen! The other day, she told me not to get in the shower until she had cleaned it first and 2 seconds later she was in there on her hands and knees scrubbing away. She’s very easy-going and just wants to serve us constantly. We, me and a teammate named Ashlee, try not to let her do too much but she’s sneaky.

This is our typical set-up in Base Camp

This is Mt. Eternity and Mountain Man Joe's tent

I spend most of my days at the church in this room right here. We usually have around 45 kids a night, ages 2^nd through 6^th grade. They’re a very energetic group and we did have a couple of kids that we thought would be tough nuts to crack, but I am pleased to say that today we didn't have to hand out any warnings! They were practically angels. I love getting to see changes like that in the tough ones; though I have my suspicions that a good bit of the obedience today was due to a good bit of grounding back at home. Good for them.

I’m sitting here trying to think of one thing to tell you about what I've been learning and how God’s been growing me. There are so many thoughts running around in my head that it’s hard to pin just one down. But I finally caught one and this is it:

Time. 

I’m a terrible manager of my time. God is helping me to see how wasteful of it I am. Usually it’s either sleep, facebook or chatting.

I used to tell people I was a quiet person but I’m beginning to wonder if that was just the crazy talking.

So, I’m working on giving my time to Jesus. Every day when I wake up I endeavor to go through my schedule and give each aspect of it to Him. I’m not so good at it yet, but I’m getting better and I would be so grateful for prayers in that direction.

Also, I am teaching a lesson on forgiveness tomorrow night and then one on prayer on Tuesday night. I’m a bit behind on preparation for both of these (there’s that time management issue again) so please pray that I’ll not feel rushed but I will trust God for the outcome and work on them with a joyful heart.

I miss y’all A TON! and I’m so thankful that you are continuing to read and support me with your prayers, encouraging texts and comments.

I’ll try to post again soon!

Love much,

Anna

Getting Ready: an end and another beginning

it's a beautiful day!

Mornin' Everybody!

I have been at camp for six weeks.

I have moved four times.

I realized this the other day when I made the fourth and final move to ShowerHouse Cabin 254. And, honestly, I was complaining. Back and forth and up and down and now I'm literally 3/4 of a mile away from all things food. Ugh! Plus, it's been raining a lot.

And then I said to my poor little pitiful self, "you do realize that you just signed up for A YEAR of moving every three weeks or less, right? And all of that in strangers' homes? Buck up!! You have a comfy bed and showers you can turn around in and flushing toilets and by the time you get back to your cabin you have worked off all those extra fries you shouldn't have eaten."

And then I stopped complaining.

Sometimes I forget that I am an adult and I actually chose this lifestyle.

Because it's a good lifestyle: I'm surrounded by wonderful people and good teaching, I have the opportunity to meet hundreds of people and hopefully let them see more of Him through me, I get to hang out with kids all the time (and I'm not just talking about my wacky team) and grow my own faith while hoping to help grow theirs, I get to travel to new places and see a lot of really cool things (people tend to want to show off the area in which they live)...the list could go on. God has put me in this place and I can rest in peace, knowing that I am in His will.

Alright, back to camp:

In all this moving about I also discovered that maybe I am meant to be a cave dweller. We have these triple-decker bunk beds in our cabin and I actually LIKE being in the middle bunk. It's cozy.

I'm not kidding.

Really.

See? Snug as a bug in a rug.

I'm also very proud of how I rigged my little fan to hang from the top bunk.

No judging.

I might truly be sad to leave this cabin: but, then again,maybe not because I won't leave it until we hit the road to Mississippi and I am SO ready to get going.

I got to teach the Greatness of God lesson to all of the other Base Camp teachers this week and I had so much fun, while at the same time wishing I was really in front of a group of kids. Not that the teachers weren't listening;  I actually heard one of them say "cool!" and another go "whoa." Mission accomplished: God is "cool" and He is totally worth a "whoa" or two (trillion). The whole process of preparing for the lesson and then sharing it gave me a renewed hope and joy in teaching that I didn't even realize needed refreshing. But God did, and He is good, so that's that.

Here's what life looks like for me right now: 

~Thursday was the last day of official training sessions. 

~Friday was the beginning of Labor Day Family Camp and all of the team members are helping out at some point throughout the weekend. 

~I had Friday afternnoon and today off (blessings on my soul, I got to read a book!) Sunday and ~Monday I will be in the nursery.

~Monday afternoon is camp clean-up and a free tubing trip around the lake for those who volunteered to help with clean up. (umm-yes!) 

~Tuesday is getting all the loose ends tied up. 

~Wednesday is packing and commissioning ceremony. 

~Thursday, we hit the road!!! 

 ...In these beauties...

The bus seats 26: our team has 33 with the families, so there will be some personal vehicles as well. Our semi has the white cab: we pack everything in that baby- even all our luggage and whatnot.

In all of these things we all need prayer because we. are. exhausted. (I think it's a permanent side effect of camp life.) However, good news - knock on wood - I have gone through the entire six weeks here without getting the nasty cold that was going around. Ta Da! Not really sure how I managed that one, Praise the Lord!

I feel like a broken record - asking for prayer so often - but, really, it's what I (we) need. There's no way to do what we do without the support of the Church through abundant prayers. 

So, please, pray pray and pray some more. Pray for physical strength. Pray for servants hearts. Pray for joy. Pray for forbearance (a team of 27 singles from ages 17 to 37 around each other 24/7). Pray that the rest of the money I owe will come in. ($1,900) Pray for me, that I will learn selflessness and humility. And pray for our nation: these churches who have invited us to come are only a drop in the bucket of all the people in the US and we are in desperate need of a return to God.

Thank y'all again, I'll try to catch up again next week and tell you about our first trip and our first church. 

Love much,

Anna

One Team, One God, One Goal

Life Action Blue Team, 2014-2015

I would like to introduce ya'll to my team. These are the people I will spending most of my time with this coming year and, lemme tell ya, they are pretty much amazing... 

we're just a lil' strange

 ...and somewhat crazy. In the best sense. It seems there's always a picture being taken and most of those times someone will yell "goofy pose!" and then who knows what'll happen. I love it!

We took these pictures at an event they put on for us here at camp called TEAM CHALLENGE. It was Red vs White vs Blue. Jimmy and Lori Herdklotz (our family revivalists) had these shirts made for us to wear to the event. I love them! (plus it made it a lot easier to spot my team members in the crowd!) Competition was fierce. Normally, they encourage all of the teams to think of ourselves as one big team: which is good and true, we have one God and one goal - to glorify God. On this night, though, they encouraged us to be sold out for our traveling teams and I can honestly say that I did feel more unity once we were all working together and rooting for each other. It's pretty amazing what can be accomplished with a bit of encouragement and a good attitude.

well...that happened

I got to participate in a word game that we played on stage. Four of us from the team were chosen and we had to be blindfolded (I was all like "words? blindness? I got this.) So, once our eyes were covered, we were each handed a letter that would be part of a four letter word. Using the clues the Head of Games was calling out, we had to figure out what the word was and then arrange our letters accordingly. Our team was doing SO well and it was a blast...then we got to the last word and the timer buzzed before we could figure out what letter each person had. Just so happened they were already spelling a word: unfortunately it was NOT a word that needed to be spelled, especially in a Christian ministry. There was a sudden hush and then a roar of laughter and boy, were our faces red!!! But it was all in good fun. = )

My favorite thing about the first pictures I put on here is that they were taken AFTER the challenge was over and we had just lost the victory by a .1 second difference in the last game. Our team was disappointed but we were still smiling and still goofing off. I love that.

I promised in my last post that I would tell y'all about our CM trip to Bair lake and the high-ropes course. It was WONDERFUL! The whole purpose of the trip is to build team unity and to learn how to work together. When we are teaching in clubs it is SO important that we are following our head teacher and paying attention to each other's needs. So we get there, and the very first activity we are told to do is find a partner and make sure one of us doesn't mind being blindfolded (this seems to be a theme in my life). I laughed. It ended up that I was in the one group of three because we had an odd number of people. It worked out well and actually made a few of the activities more fun and challenging. Have you ever tried to do a three-legged race with three people? We had to turn it into a four-legged race, which meant the middle person (me) had both legs tied to another person's. We came in last, but everyone cheered us on and we made it work. It was pretty cool having to find a new approach to an old game.

Then came my favorite part of the whole day: the high ropes course. Honestly, I just love getting up there and hanging around like a crazy monkey - and that's exactly what I did. I just zipped from one element to another and tried my best to keep my balance. There were some parts that I simply could not do the correct way (I blame it on the eyesight, but really, I think I'm just clumsy) so I would figure out another way to get across and then move on.

The other CMs kept cheering me on and telling me how amazed they were that I could do all that while having such bad vision. I felt the praise undeserved. My sight is no different up in the air than it is on the ground and, honestly, heights have never bothered me. Even if they did, I can't really see how high up I am so, as far as I'm concerned, I could be 3 feet off the ground instead of 20. There were a few people there, though, who are really and truly afraid of heights but they got up there and did it anyway. One girl took 30 minutes to make a 4 and 1/2 ft leap from one base to another, but SHE DID IT!! That person, i believe, is the one who deserves the praise and applause. She faced and conquered a fear while I - well - I was just having fun.

The Team challenge and the high ropes course are really just two events wrapped up in a lot of training here at the Life Action Family Camp. Most of our days are spent eating and training, eating and training, and eating and training. I've been so tired that I fell asleep sitting up a few times and I can't normally do that. TI's all worth it, though, and needed. Our team hits the road headed to Mississippi on Thursday, September 4 and I am so ready to blow this popsicle stand. Not that I don't love camp- I do - but I want to go and actually do all these things that we've been taking about for the past month.. I know there are some more necessary things we need to do here but I'm getting antsy. As you can tell, I need prayers for patience. = )

I've also been hit by a few heavy waves of homesickness. I've lost count of the times that I just want to go home and wrap my arms around my Daddy...or sit and chat with or go grocery shopping with or just sit and read different books together with my Mama... or argue with or goof off with all my weird siblings... or teach and chat with my Canfieldians...all of these and more.. I definitely need continual prayer for comfort and peace, purpose and passion. I know God has me here and His purpose is being fulfilled in my life: it's just not so easy sometimes. Lord, give me grace.

This week I have to practice teaching one of my lessons in front of all the CMs. EEP! Teaching in front of a bunch of kids is one thing: teaching in front of a bunch of adults while trying to pretend they are kids....yeah, totally different. Happily, I get to teach on the Greatness of God and I'm totally psyched because that is one of my favorite subjects. The lesson centers around God's creation of Space and how BIG He truly is. Then I get to tell the kids about how this HUGE God who is so GREAT thinks about them and cares for them and loves them beyond measure. One of the greatest privileges in the world, right there, folks.

I hope everything is going well with all of y'all, I'd love to hear what's going on in your lives. Thank you all so much for your prayers, and feel free to message me or comment below if I can return the favor.

Much love,
Anna

P.S. I got the shirt!!!!!

the front says BLINDSIGHT
(Courtney Peavy, you are awesome)

Open Heart Surgery

About a year ago (also known as this last Sunday) I endeavored to continue my weekly pattern of writing a blog post. Obviously, that didn't happen.

Can you say busy- while also doing about five hundred other things? 

Actually, when I think about it, the majority of my time has been spent sitting and listening, but in this environment that is a spiritual and emotional workout like no other.

 CM (Children’s Ministry) training took off running last Sunday at the same time as our ministry wide “Seek Week” conference. I think all of the leaders sat down and said, “Let’s see how much truth and goodness these people can handle in one week without exploding.” They came pretty close. There were a couple of days there that I felt like I would burst if I had to think any more. But, of course, God is gracious (and I also may be exaggerating just a tad…a very small tad.)

“So, what did you learn?” you ask.

I answer, (deep breath) “I-need-to-find-my-approval-in-God-and-not-fear-what-man-would-think-of-me-and-i-need-to-work-on-being-thankful-and-I-have-been-ignoring-God-and-He-loves-me-always-anyway-and…’ As you can see, it was a lot so I just want to tell y’all one thing that was pretty stinkin’ huge for me (pardon my French.)

On Thursday morning, after I had already spent several days working through realizations of fear of man and ingratitude and whatnot, I finally hit a point of “I can’t feel any more so I’m just going to sit here and listen placidly.”

I think God must've found that particular plan funny.

So there I am, sitting in service and being pleasant and placid (like a lake) when the pastor throws in a bit of a pebble by telling us that God loves us: plain and simple. Now, this is something I have been very aware of in my life. I have known and seen and felt His love and care for me in every-day life for many years, but sometimes the reminder and implications just dive deep into my soul and cause ripples of joy all throughout. This time, however, the reminder caused a flood and boy-howdy do I mean TEARS!

I can count on one hand the times in my life that I have actually had tears streaming down my face and couldn’t stop them. This time was one of the worst. (side note: every time it happened when there were no tissues or napkins readily available, wha’s wi’ tha’?)

Okay. Pause. Rewind.

 A year or so ago I received an email from Caitlin (my older, also blind sister) in which she asked me to be praying about starting a “blind kids” blog and to join her in continual prayer for God to heal our eyes. She also asked that I share the message with Grayson and Gracie.

I didn’t tell Grayson and Gracie.

And I only sorta kinda tried to pray about the healing. I had hit a wall. Should I pray about something that I don’t really want in the first place? I am content to be blind. I have had so many people tell me that I have encouraged them through how I handle it and my attitude; it’s my ministry. (Notice the plethora of personal pronouns…) Isn’t it kind of a slap in God’s face if I pray for something I don’t really need or want? I mean, He made me this way for a purpose and I should be grateful and I am grateful. I don’t need to be sighted. Besides, how would people act? Would I become a science project? Would people believe me? Who would I be without my blindness; it’s such a big part of my personality. It’s me…

All of these arguments and excuses were running through my mind and the thing is: I never asked God what He wanted or what He thought about it. I never gave it to Him. It was mine! mine! mine! and I didn’t want to give it up. So, when the speaker told us God loved us and asked us to think about what areas of our life we were holding back from Him- who loves us beyond all reason…

I sat there and couldn’t think of anything.

My mind was blank.

 I was praying with a friend and I told God exactly that. Then I honestly, truly asked Him to show me what areas of my life I was keeping from Him. (Warning: don’t ask that if you don’t really mean it!)

While I was sitting there thinking about it, the speaker then said that he was going to pass some mics around and he wanted just a few people to pray aloud what was in their hearts.

My own heart started pounding like a runaway horse.

I stood up.

And suddenly that same pounding heart was rolling down my face and out of my lips for all to see- even me. I confessed my unwillingness to give my eyesight to God. I remembered that He gave me this vision for His glory and not my own. He can give me a new ministry any time for that same glory. He loves me and His love is a perfect love, therefore I can know that whatever He gives me will be good - just as the sight He gave me is good for the here and now: for this time.

Then, with a free heart and a joy in knowing that I was obeying Him with my words, I asked God to restore my sight.

I really cannot describe to you all that happened in my heart in that moment and since.

Am I suddenly discontent with my current visual state due to zeal in praying to be healed? No!

Am I absolutely certain that this is what God wants me to give Him and to pray for daily? Yes!

Am I absolutely certain that He will eventually give me 20/20 vision on this earth? No. But that is not the point. He wanted me to give it to Him - to surrender every part of me, the good and the bad, because…

He.

Loves.

Me.

And that, y’all, is beyond wonderful.

Well, that’s my week. After standing up and baring my heart in front of so many I felt a bit…exposed…and, honestly, I feel like that a bit now, too. I wanted to tell y’all, though, because I know that this is not something that God wants me to keep to myself. Part of my obedience in this is sharing it with others and I think that’s why He had me stand and pray before everyone. So, now I’m asking you to pray. Pray with me and pray for me.

And thank y’all again for all the prayers I know have been sent up for me: I truly believe that God has heard them and I have felt them.

This week we will be continuing with staff training but the conference is over. I just hope that all I learned will grow roots in my heart and I will not allow busyness to distract me from all that needs to be processed.

I am so glad you spent the time to read today! Tune in next week to find out what happens when you mix a (currently) blind kid with a high ropes course.

I am SO excited!